Reporting In  

Ok here's the gist of it: I lost all motivation to work.  In the last wee while I've discovered that -

1. My current role in my company is not satisfying (my talents and gifts lie elsewhere),
2. I am not sure what value my current role has,
3. I need to make some hard decisions.

I've created a company that pays me enough to live on (with care), and to be honest it's easy to sit back and cruise on that.  I'm single, I can work when I want; I answer to my business partner, our customers, and the call to walk well before God.  Pretty good life.  But the company is a means to various ends, including personal development & achievement, the desire to create a force that can do things, and capital accumulation for the sake of (grrr I hate this cliche:) kingdom work (as if there is anything other than 'kingdom').    

And those ends are not very close, nor getting closer very fast, and I need to take charge of what's going on again. Including of myself.  

So I'm in Christchurch with my sister, brother-in-law, and children on a complete break. I went snowboarding for the first time yesterday and loved it.  I've finally managed to buy a nice small text-only bible to use. Small things please me.  

Give me advice, if you have any. Else pray that I see clearly. My company can achieve the things I want it to, but only if I make it happen.   

You know what I mean, I trust: God has put in my hands the Aaron-shaped things he wants invested well - personality, skills, potential, resources, and above all, hopefully, accumulated wisdom.  You - yes, you - will have your own you-shaped things.  Yet one thing I've learned is not to be an individual; we are called to invest together.  So my ends above, I now realise, should be read in the light of this. (It's true - I learn as I write.)   

And I suppose that, if at the end of my life the investments I've made with and through others - you and you and you - are vindicated as having made a measurable difference, then I will be content.  

Of course, God, I'd also like a wife, children, and grandchildren.  Around my bed when you die. Please.